In this post, I’m sharing my thoughts on why, sometimes, we become antagonists and how to stop being a hater and avoid the loser mentality.
Are you a hater?
Have you ever caught yourself, being a hater? Like whenever you see someone’s post on IG, or your friend or family member call‘s you all excited to share x good news, and you hate it because it makes you feel like a loser.
Well, I have been a hater. And it wasn’t until I felt this negative emotion that I decided to get to the source of why I was feeling them.
I took the emotion, and instead of shoving it away, which is what I typically do with uncomfortable feelings, and decided to sit with it.
But after many hours of discomfort, a lot of meditating, and journaling, I had a catharsis-also known as an emotional release.
Catharsis is the purification and purgation of emotions — particularly pity and fear — through art or any extreme change in emotion that results in renewal and restoration. – Wikipedia
Competition can make you bitter
Once I did the work, I came to the realization, the real reason I was feeling like a hater is that I was secretly competing with the world.
Therefore, my friends or anyone’s win felt like a loss to me.
While competition can be a good motivator for getting things done, it can also be one of the most negative emotions that can take over you.
The unhealthy thoughts brought on by comparing yourself to others is a sign of low self-esteem. I was busy being so doubtful of my own talents, that I had a hard time accepting someone else’s success.
At first, I was embarrassed by this realization because It was something that was happening while my mind was in an unconscious state.
Whereas, a confident conscious Steffany, who has a clear knowledge of her strengths and weaknesses, will have clear ideas independent of what others think or are doing.
As a result, I now had to take conscious level actions and detox my mind of the self-doubt and the loser mentality I was having because I am no hater!
Understand Why You Are Being Salty
First, observe the way you react, what are the emotions that rise up when you see a “pretty” post of someone online, or when your friend gets that promotion. This is a great way to learn the things you need to work on in your meditation and or journaling practice.
Whatever emotion arises within you take it, dig deep into it this will help you figure out what is really going on. Remember, change occurs from the inside out.
As a result, I began a journey of self-discovery, personal development, and spiritual evolution since those days.
Furthermore, I was able to pinpoint why I felt like I was in a competition. And the truth is that at the moment, I did not have a clear view of myself or my own goals. I was being a hater because I was unaligned with my soul and had forgotten my own power.
Therefore, any time someone around me achieved something, it made me feel like a loser even though I didn’t even want for myself what they had achieved.
I discovered that when we begin reconnecting to ourselves in a way we may not have done in years, we start to learn that our loser mentality, compulsive shopping, toxic relationships, binge eating and many other have very little to do with what we thought but are in fact coping strategies for the unsatisfied lives we lead.
Moreover, I’ve discovered that when the whispers of our soul are not being heard (as we often tune them out for whatever reason), they will get louder and louder until we have no choice but to listen.
When we can start becoming aware of what we are really hungry for in life and creating space for our needs and our truth, we start getting back in touch with ourselves on a soul level.
And life changes. The connection to our life, our body, our relationships, and our business.
How To Stop Being Hater
First and foremost, take responsibility for your life and your happiness. Be clear of your own goals and ambitions.
If you want to make something of yourself, you must be bold, daring, confident, and have faith in your abilities. No-one can change your life, only you. If there are things which are making you dim your light, make you feel stuck, trapped, lost, and unhappy……DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. And NOW. Not when it reaches a breaking point.
Whenever the feeling rises, ask yourself questions. Lots of questions.
What do I want? What do I need? What lights me up? What makes me happy? What do I do for me? What no longer serves me? What do I want more of? What do I want less of?
Write down an action plan, what are you going to do about it?
The magic, here is that you will now be consciously creating change and once you lose the loser mentality and adopt a winner’s mindset, you will become unstoppable.
